The 15-minute daily ritual that drastically improved my confidence

The 15-minute daily ritual that drastically improved my confidenceThe 15-minute daily ritual that drastically improved my confidenceSo much is lost in the rush of dailylife. At the end of a busy work day, Ive often closed out my tabs feeling exhausted, but also somewhat confounded.What did I even do today? Am I actually becoming thewriterI want to be?Lots of questions, zero answers. And as my questions piled up, so did the self-doubt and second-guessing.So I decided to make a change. I started platzdeckchenting aside time every day to recognize what Id done and thereby keep tabs on my progress toward short- and long-term goals.Ive always been a fan of working smarter and setting up systems that work with my natural tendencies rather than against them. I setgoalsfor everything from my career and finances, to physical andmental health, to personal growth andrelationships.Im also the type of person who believes that a solid spreadsheet or a well-crafted document can do way more than mos t people give them credit for. So when I moved into freelance writing almost a year ago, I created almost a dozen documents in an attempt to make sure I accomplished everything I wanted to do.I quickly realized that wasnt going to cut it, though, since it took up way more time than I expected. And, to be honest, I was more addicted to the goal-setting than I was inspired by the thought of actually living up to them. Recognizing that, I opted to go cold-turkey and just do the work and see where that got me.Unsurprisingly, that didnt work either. Im the kind of person who needs a balance of structure and free-flowingcreativity. But I didnt know what that kind of work-style looked like on a daily basis. Id never seen anything like it in all my time researching productivity hacks and expert advice from otherfreelance writerswho had years of experience under their collective belts.I grew tired of seeing weeks pass with seemingly little to show for it and feeling less-than-confident in my abilities. So I decided to make time every single day to force myself to recognize all the little things Id accomplished that day. Its a 10-minute daily exercise that forces me to focus on the reality of my progress. Its just short enough that I cant justify skipping it, but long enough that I can find some meaningful insight. It also lets me adjust my goals from lofty to realistic and attainable.But I didnt arrive at my system without a crucial piece of introspection and self-acceptance I realized the fact that I am, much to my chagrin, a people pleaser. Dont get me wrong I love setting goals for myself, and I especially love filling out spreadsheets and worksheets and ticking off boxes on my to-do list. But I tend to do better when I have some sort of external source of motivation spurring me on.That was always missing from my goal-setting exercises. I would write down all of these things I wanted to do - start running regularly, pitch one of my dream publications, have a super -productive morning routine - but they were all solely dependent on willpower.Ive always heard thatwillpoweris like a muscle It gets easier to use the more you exercise it. I dont know if thats true. If it is, getting over the initial difficulty of flexing that particular muscle is enough to make me want to give up before Ive started. But, as Ive come to realize, having someone to spot you along the way in no way diminishes your progress.Thats why I set aside one of my daily review time slots to focus on my weekly progress by way of a check-in phone call or video chat with my best friend. We take 15 to 20 minutes to discuss our progress on everything from getting a difficult assignment done to finally scheduling that appointment thats been put off for way too long. And since we live 3,000 miles away from each other, it helps keep us up-to-date on whats going on in each others lives.Even though I almost never accomplish all of my goals (a fact which the perfectionist in me still cri nges at), I can see the progress Im making with every little step forward. I never had that kind of validation before and it has, for the most part, kept me from sliding back into the self-defeating mindset thats plagued me since college.Im able to recognize the fact that I have to give myself time to reach those ultimate goals Ive set for myself. And, even more importantly, I now measure myself against the person I was yesterday, rather than the idealized version of myself I can never quite reach. That makes it easier to appreciate my hard work, instead of getting hung up on all the things Im not doing right. And thats had a huge impact on my self-confidence.This article was originally published on Business Insider.